Time Man

Here I am. I watch the calendar as time passes. I'm at my kitchen, I sit at the kitchen table and watch the clock tock by the numbers. They all seem so empty... The frigging colorful number doesn't give me any happiness at all anymore and I'm cursing myself for not throwing it out of the window. I get up. But that seems to take an eternity. I noticed the clock took about 5 complete turns just while I was walking to it, and I wasn't even 3 steps away... I strech my arm and it makes me close my eyes as strongly as I can. I can still feel the pain. Even though the scar is completely closed, even though it already stopped bleeding, I can still feel the pain. I can still remember the feeling of my full body above it... I can still see my car turned at the street. I can still see her completely white by my side. I can see her dead. I touch the wall. It is so cold it burns my fingers, and in one minute, I'm back to my chair. I look the watch again. It is moving backwards. I try to scream, but just like everytime THIS starts, it doesn't stop. I'm at the hospital. The bead beside me is empty. I feel pain. The doctor tells me I'm the only one who made it... I'm at the ambulance. The nurse at my right side seems to be trying to keep my arm still, but I keep moving it. I can see the bone getting out of my skin, but I don't care, I don't feel the pain, not yet. I want to see her, but I seem to be the only one screaming at the ambulance. She tries to calm me down... Says I'm going to be ok... But I keep screaming anyway. I'm not worried about me. It's not that I can't die, but that is hard as hell. I know, I tried. I'm at the car. I can see her smile while she sings our songs... All love songs were our songs. She has the most amazing voice I've ever heard, ever since the thing with the bridge. I close my eyes to listen to her voice better for a second... Something hits our car. I can't see what. But it is big and red. Red as the blood that flows from my head into all of my clothes. I try to call her up, but she doesn't speak to me. She isn't listening to me... She is dead. I'm at the bridge. I can feel my feet aching to get out of it. I wanna jump... Actually, I don't. But I don't know what to do anymore. This thing is driving me crazy. Not only me. I try to jump, but someone call me out. It's her. - This is my favorite part. - She comes to me, running, like she knew me or something. She yells at me to wait and then, she goes beside me on the bridge, out of the protection rail. She looks me in the eyes and smiles. She asks me what happened. I try to tell her that it doesn't matter, but she insists. She insists she will find out what happened even if he has to jump with me. I give up jumping. I can't jump and make her stop talking. I'm in love with her voice... I want to see her more.

... "I want to see him!" - I tell my mama, while she cries on the door. Papa is outside. He calls me a creep, but I don't care. Sometimes he is so drunk he forgets I've got this "things". He plays with me. Mama is crying and she yells at me. She yells I can't see him. He is gone. She yells it's not my fault, but she hates me. I know she does. Late that night, after mama is sleeping, I go out, I try to find dad, but I can't. I go back home, the door is open. The police is everywhere. I can over hear they saying mama is dead. And I'm gone. One of the officers seems to breath better after he says I was too much trouble... I'm 8 years old. Mama is in the kitchen cooking me cookies, my favorite cookies, chocolate cookies. I can smell them and I want it to be ready already. I look at the clock. I fix my eyes to it, and I can make the time go faster. Mama looks at me, I slow the time to go back to my goob-boy position. Hands on the table, my back on the chair. But she knows what I did. She always know. ... I can make time go faster or slower, but I can't control it anymore. Ever since she is gone, my powers have gone completely nuts. I'm something she used to call a time-man. But I never used my powers to the good of people. Maybe if I used, the guy who got my car wouldn't be there. He would be on jail, where he belongs, not robbing that God dawn car-truck!!! It's all my fault. I now it. I'm at the kitchen again. Time came back to normal. I look at the clock. I'm afraid to touch it again. I'm so afraid to watch her dead stare again. Even so, I get up. I strech my arm and it makes me close my eyes as strongly as I can. I can still feel the pain. Even though the scar is completely closed, even though it already stopped bleeding, I can still feel the pain... But I don't give it at attention. I touch the clock and close my eyes again. I'm back at the car. She's beside me. I smile at her, and she smile at me. I freeze time. I look to my side. There it is... The God dawn truck. I look to her again. She is smiling. She doesn't see the truck either. So, she is happy. I think about getting up and changing the truck's direction. But I can't. I'm not that powerful. The only thing I can move is my head, so I turn it back to her, and I keep smiling... I keep smiling while the tears wash my cheeks. They burn my skin, make it red and aching, but I don't care, I can't control it. I wish I had jumped form the bridge. And then I imagine if she would really jump after me. Suddenly, I'm angry at her. It was probably a lie and I fell for it. I killed her because I was afraid to kill her. I scream at her. I scream she's just a control-freak bitch that was too goddawnmed good to see a motherf*cker like me jump from the f*cking bridge. I scream all I can, but she keeps smiling to me. As if being alive with me again was the only thing she ever wanted. I'm crying again. I stop and keep quiet, but I don't want time to move again... I don't want to look at the clock again. I don't want to go to the kitchen. I don't want to watch it all again... I don't want to kill her, so, I just smile back to her and keep quiet. I keep still. Nothing is moving. Nothing is breathing. Nothing can be heard. But I can still see her. I keep still. I keep still. I don't want time to go back. So I keep still. I keep still. I can feel my time is ending. I can't keep still for too long, or I can die, after all, I'm like the time.. I gotta move. But I don't. She's gonna die anyway... I keep still. And then...

#english #oneshot #superpower #timemanipulation